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Beginning:

To the other side of the screen, whether it be a human viewing this somewhere else (if this gets read by someone real) or just my own computer's digital insides (if no-one reads it except my computer's processor and memory).....

~ Hello - and welcome to the reinvention of this journal.

I have had nearly 11 months off from not saying anything on this LJ and have decided to restart it today, for no real, justified reason.

It really is the most unjustified thing I've, probably, ever done.

I just thought, hmmm, I feel happier than usual, so I'll post in LJ even though I haven't touched it for nearly a year.

I don't how happiness resolves the equation, as I have minimal experience with it.

It just happened...like ^that^

Ever Since:

All I know is that 1 of the only people that interacted with me has now changed their name and left me out of their friends list. Which means, probably no-one will read this. That's fine though - I'm not angry.

However, I am not writing this journal for anybody else anymore. At least, not consciously. If it affects other people or makes them like my writing, then that's all cool, but it's not intentional. Rather, I just want to write (from now on) to fulfill my mind's need to let out certain fragments of thought - whether it be philosophical, or superficial (shallow observations, brash rationalisations or trivial conclusions); long or short.

On anime, I just finished dxxnlxxding ARIA the NATURAL 26 episodes. Guess how long it took? Collectively - 7 months!! (cos I don't always open it's txxrent as it takes up a lot of HD space and I never leave the computer on when I'm not around - cos it wastes my superior's money). It took about 5% of my HD. It was well worth the wait though, I watched some of the 1st season a couple of weeks ago and I firmly established, with invisible evidence, that I admire it to death. Even though it has drawings and conventions that are very similar to most mainstream anime, the way it executes its story is so gentle and so in-line with my light side that I seem to enter a tiny little world of itself whenever I watch it. Very innocent and utterly unique - if only more anime was made like this.

On love, I don't know what it is. I don't care for what it is. I don't care about what I think it is. Not for now, at least. Not when I have work to do and not when I can't figure out myself. I at least have to be physically and psychologically healthy to think about this word, but I am nowhere near that stage.

On philosophies, I have a lot of them but I can't remember a lot of them. I hope to write some in this journal. I don't want to write them pretentiously either, so some may have to be multi-pooly edited before it gets published.

Ending:

I just want to say that I probably won't update often. Therefore catering to my central ideas conveyed previously - to be selfish and only post when I want to and about things I like. I am living through a foggy superhighway of work right now (at uni) during my last 4 weeks of my uni 1st year so please understand if there is a lack of updates. I will try to write some reviews of movies and music in the next few entries, as well as provide some philosophies. Actually, they're just some vague ideas I have that I reckon will make some people agree, or criticise, or at least want to discuss. It's a bit ambitious of me to call them philosophies, I'm nowhere near that smart or professional.

Well, bye for now to whoever is viewing this - digital or physical.

;)

Oh, by the way - please look forward to my next entry entitled 'Popularisation' (forgive the spelling, I'm not American; I'm from another English-speaking country that uses 's' intead of 'z' in such words).

It's philosophical (or at least idea-based).

It's about fan-made sites popularising people and media objects subconsciously and, sometimes (questionably), unnecessarily.

Thanks for reading this large piece of information,

Bye again. :)

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Current Location: In Space
Current Mood: refreshed refreshed
Current Music: ARIA - Slow Jam f/ Douji-T (Radio Edit)

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Since my life is pretty uneventful at the moment, I wanted to dedicate this post to saying happy birthday to Juri Ueno, who turned 21 yesterday: Friday the 25th. So yeah, Happy Birthday Juri Ueno!!! xD

I first saw her in 'Tsubasa No Oreta Tenshitachi' (Angels Without Wings) and thought she was a brilliant actress. She seemed different from all the other actresses because she wasn't trying to be pretty or anything (not that there's anything wrong with just being pretty)...she was just being herself and acting her part to the best of her ability, which in my opinion was quite excellent. In the mentioned TV drama, she is addicted to playing Pachinko (slot machines) and makes a living out of it. However when her boyfriend suddenly disappears, he leaves her with a little innocent boy whom, at first, she refuses (with great repulsion) to take care of. The rest of the story is pretty straightforward but she never stops, even in her most vulnerable moment when she nearly cries for the boy, to articulately display her roughness and ruthlessness in a most convincing delivery. What's funny is that the personality she portrays is like the complete opposite of her real self. It's amazing how diverse she can be.

I really hope I can get to see her 'Nodame Cantabile' drama one day. Being a musician myself, I really appreciate and admire her musical ability displayed in that drama. It will take so long to DL though, the files for each episode are almost one gig and I'm severely running out of HD space. What I respect most about her I would have to say, is her 'down-to-earthedness', on and off screen.

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Current Location: In a euphoric music-filled realm
Current Mood: calm calm
Current Music: Shiina Ringo x Saito Neko - Yume no Ato

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I hate to keep saying that I'm back and stuff but I really had no choice these past 3 weeks. I had to concentrate on my study. I'm back from 19 days of the hardest work I've ever done in my life. The work itself wasn't that hard, but the hours put into it, the hours of sleep lost over it, my heart and soul put into it, was definitely the most I've ever given.

I'm happy to say that I've now successfully completed the first term of my course and am now one big step closer to getting that degree I wanted from Uni. Also, I have a break from Uni for the next four weeks so hopefully I can post more in this journal...maybe even more than once a day hehe ^_^

I also plan to watch lots of anime, dramas, movies, listen to lots of music, play lots of games, play lots of piano, get a job and contact my old friends.

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Current Location: On a happy cloud
Current Mood: happy happy
Current Music: Alice Nine - Rosario

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concealed_blue
After not writing in my journal for about 1 week, I'm now back to keeping track of my life. I don't want to end up stopping this blog like my other one just because I write too much. So I'm sorry to all the readers of my last post which was understandably boring and tedious to read. I guess my new aim for writing in this journal is to write brief accounts about the interesting things in my life and to keep the detailed accounts of the negative things to a minimum.

Anyway, I hate to contradict myself straight away but yeah, last week was the worst week I had in a while. A long while. Probably why I didn't come on to LJ. Never felt that particular way since 2003 and that's quite a long while back. I'd rather not go into any more details but man am I glad that I can get back to having a normal life. Of course life's not completely back to normal, certain aspects are still pulling it from normality but the feeling I have right now, sure beats the feeling I had a few days ago at the height of my despair.

Current Location: In front of computer
Current Mood: indescribable indescribable
Current Music: Lolita23q - 888 ~Kohakutou no Shoujo~

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*if wakaba_doll is reading this: sorry wakaba_doll, I know I said I didn't have time to say many words but I just couldn't help it. o_0 lolz*
 
Today was a considerable (but not special) day. I went to uni more than 1 hour late and was still permitted to do a 20-question test that was meant for the beginning of the lesson. I felt relieved that I didn't lose the 10% that it was worth. This subject deals with production skills and the big assignment this term is to make a website. {I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT MAKING WEBSITES!!!} For the past few weeks, I've been thinking, I can't possibly think that I'm going to survive this term with my lack of website-making skills and all. Even, if it took me until the very last minute to finish this website, I would have nothing but a palette of trash for a website. Luckily today, I received a healthy dose of hope as my tutor and my close friend helped me to execute some vital things in DreamWeaver and Photoshop that benefited me immensely towards a better sense of security in regards to my possible completion of this website. Furthermore, that same friend and another friend were quite pleased with a group summary that we needed to hand in that was 3000 words (11 pages) long [which I spent most of the night doing] which I wrote and gave them both a copy - [ I know it's group work but I thought they had already contributed a lot to the research plus I had promised them I would do it for them and I always keep my word ~_0. ]

Anyway, on to the dream. Last night, well probably sometime in the day cos I barely get the opportunity to sleep at night, I dreamt the weirdest dream. I normally don't remember my dreams so clearly but here's how it went:

Silence. I was at my house. My interaction with life involved nothing but my leering into the crystal panes of the clear window of my living room. I was alone. Hallways of hollow emptiness and chilling drops of coldness surrounded my prescence. I wasn't expecting anything to happen, nor expecting myself to move from the stance of nothingness that I was apparently possessing. My eyes just glared out the window, with a glint of hope, that maybe something special was going to happen soon, to enlighten and invigorate my life.

Knock, knock.
                                   Suddenly~ someone was at my front door.
                                                                         
                                                                         I broke away from a haunting realm, and leapt to the door.

I placed my eye to the keyhole to see who it was but before my eye even brushed against the metallic rims of the keyhole, someone thrusted the door open. It was my two best friends who I've known for more than 6 years (in real life). I haven't seen them in 5 months (in real life also) and was thinking that they had forgotten me. It was weird because my two best friends weren't themselves close to each other so it was really amazing for them to surprise me by coming together.

I approached them with open arms welcoming them to my humble abode but alas, they refused to immerse themselves in friendly contact with me. Instead, they looked devious and cunning and proceeded to hand me some sheets of paper. I was confused and bummed out. They told me that the sheets of paper were their big assignments for their current uni term. They wanted me to complete it for them and expected me to get High Distinctions for them. They offered me no money, no respect, or even a redemption of our long friendships. I said "dudes, what is this? you came here just to give me these?" They left quickly saying that their lives were on the line if I didn't complete the assignments for them. I was pierced with a mellow feeling of torment. I thought I had lost my best friends. I took their sheets of paper but I just held them, as I squatted in front of those same crystal panes I was leering into earlier. A drop of melancholy fell from my eye, lifelessly, onto one of the pieces of paper. I was frozen again, in a realm of nothingness, only this time I wasn't empty anymore, I was smothered with grief, as if I'd lost someone close.

Then, I woke up. Thankfully, none of that was true and I still remain close friends with those mentioned people. But I'm beginning to think that the thought of all these assignments has really affected me psychologically, impacting on my dreams and such. I think that this is quite unhealthy. Oh well. Anyway, gotta get back to my assignments once again. Well, on the bright side...at least I don't have to do those big assignments I was asked to do in my dream too lol~.

Current Location: In a cold area of the Earth
Current Mood: gloomy gloomy

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I luuurrrvve LiveJournal so much!!! I don't know why it took me so long to realise such an amazing community existed online. I thought it was just a blogging site at first but now I've come to see a whole new, diverse world in it.

I love the interconnectedness of people's interests, I think it's a very human way to meeting new people (minus the fact that it's electronically online) and I've made so many acquaintances in such a short time already.

Like wakaba_doll for instance. The first real friend I made on LiveJournal. Someone so charming and considerate, with stuff to say that is so relevant and interesting to me, I don't think I would have ever met someone like her at another blogging community, or even, in the real world.

Current Location: In an illuminated realm
Current Mood: grateful grateful
Current Music: Nao Matsushita - Concerto for Ekaterina

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Could my life be any duller? I won't even talk about what I have to do for tomorrow. Instead, I'm going to talk about a philosophy of mine which deals with methods of listening to music.

I believe that people should listen to all their favourite songs while thinking to themselves:

                                                  "No one in this universe has listened to this before, I am the first one to do so. I am the first to discover this song. If someone discovers this song or even the artist, I don't care what they think about it. That is, if they hate the musical structure, the appeal of the artist, if they think the song sounds too popular or not popular enough, etc, it doesn't matter, because I will always like this song."

Of course, it's highly rare and unlikely for people to be the very first listeners of a song or artist; and people may not always like a song for their whole lives, but I think if we picture this thought in our heads at the particular moment in time when we listen to our favourite songs, then I think we would really, really, REALLY enjoy our songs even more, to the pinnacle of happiness, satisfaction and admiration.

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Current Location: In an empty space
Current Mood: lethargic lethargic

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Today, I had an OK day. I was 20 mins late to class instead of 1 hour, lol. I delivered a presentation to my class about a Japanese movie that I was passionate about and I got welcome feedback from them. I was quite content. I also wore something formal to class today in order to apply a facade to my image that hides away my tiredness and exhaustion. I wore an extremely white, ironed shirt with black trousers, black leather shoes and a silver wristlet on my left wrist. People said I looked good and smart and that, I think, really boosted my confidence in my deliverance of the presentation.  Then we had a guest lecturer who was my lecturer's brother. He was alright. He seemed professional but I was too sleepy to listen to what he had to say. [lucky my sleepiness didn't kick in before, when I was doing my presentation] Then went to library, saw a classmate there then borrowed some books. Went home, ate some bread roll with cheese and bacon on it, drank coke, had some heavenly chocolate {junk food, damn, gotta work it off soon} and then went straight to bed. I was supposed to go to my piano lesson in 30 mins (from the time I got home) with my sister but I was so deep in sleep that she left me home and went by herself where she took up my portion of the piano lesson as well as hers. The rest is ordinary I guess.

Current Location: In a dream
Current Mood: blank blank
Current Music: Kagrra, - Utakata

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Lady Luck hates me...

This is stupid to notate...but my sleeping pattern is so screwed...more screwed than any other person on the planet guaranteed. I had no sleep at all last night doing an assignment, and today I went to sleep at 11pm in order to wake up again at 12 midnight to get up and do my next assignment. But, as lady luck is always against me, I set my alarm clock wrong. It was set to wake me up at 12 noon instead of 12 midnight. *sighs with utter discontent* So I ended up waking at 3am instead of at 12 midnight (cos I was so tired from yesterday's 'no sleep'). That's 3 hours over!! Now I only have 4 hours to complete my assignment. >!x_x!<

I am going to collapse.

Such mellow days haven't been had since...2 weeks ago. I'm so sick and tired of doing assignments. There is no mercy to life, just assignments. And I can never plan about what I want to do in 2 or 3 days, there is always some assignment to weigh me down for the next day and therefore, I can only live everyday as it comes. I require and yearn for the day that there is no assignments and when I can just relax. I really do. Otherwise, if such a day doesn't come soon enough, I will slip into that avenue of agony that I once knew called 'despair'.

Current Location: In my subconscious
Current Mood: tired tired
Current Music: Nightmare - Alumina

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Late to class, had an alright lecture about the movie industry at uni, then had a bad day 'cos barely talked with my close friends, took train home, saw my old high school *gangsta* asian friend drive his car without him seeing me, then had an alright lunch, then went home, and spent some time here...on LJ~!!

Current Location: Wall of Miserability
Current Mood: anxious anxious

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